Inspiration from Don Miller

"I sensed an innocent envy from the guys. We wished they could join us, and they wished likewise, but school and work owned their youth. Trips like ours are greener grass left unknown for fear of believing trite sayings, sayings that are sometimes true. But theirs is an existence under the weight and awareness of time, a place we are slowly escaping, a world growing fainter by the hour and the mile. Our letters will arrive like messages in bottles cast from the luminary of distant shores." (Don Miller, "Through Painted Deserts")

I've been cycling through a series of mixed emotions over my plans to travel Europe. About two months ago, Jason broke the news that he had to bail from the trip, due to some legitimate personal reasons. I went through a three day shock period, trying to figure out what this meant and what to do with the months of planning I had already spent. I had originally decided I would not travel three months alone, but that decision quickly changed when I was faced with the reality of no one else to go with.

And so began the cycle of mixed emotions, most dominated by excitement and nervousness. I've questioned the idea multiple times, and each time deciding to continue planning and preparing for a solo adventure. If not now, when? I'll never be guaranteed a travel partner in the future, so the risk of waiting another year to do this is too great. All this has led me to look back on the "what ifs" and wonder if this upcoming journey is part of a divine plan

*What if I had been accepted and enrolled in George Fox's MBA program? If I hadn't botched my telephone interview, I would be owned by my last year of grad school with a student debt nearly double what I have now.

*What if I had decided not to buy the house I currently own? I remember going back and fourth, knowing in my head it was a great investment but fearing the risk of making the biggest financial decision of my life.

Had either of those situations been reversed, I would be in the same position as the people Don Miller refers to in the above quote. If I was at George Fox I would be owned by school (and afterwards debt). Without my house, my financial situation would be owned by my job. But instead, I still own the freedom of my youth. And this is why I feel I must go now.

I've decided to pursue this adventure through the "green light" philosophy: I am continuing to plan and pursue this trip because it is something I really want to do. If God has another thing planned, I have faith he will provide the "red light." Otherwise, I am going alone, knowing God to be faithful and concerned for my overall well-being. If it is not good for me to go solo, He will provide a traveling partner. Either way, I expect something amazing to result from this journey...