Inspiration from Don Miller

"I sensed an innocent envy from the guys. We wished they could join us, and they wished likewise, but school and work owned their youth. Trips like ours are greener grass left unknown for fear of believing trite sayings, sayings that are sometimes true. But theirs is an existence under the weight and awareness of time, a place we are slowly escaping, a world growing fainter by the hour and the mile. Our letters will arrive like messages in bottles cast from the luminary of distant shores." (Don Miller, "Through Painted Deserts")

I've been cycling through a series of mixed emotions over my plans to travel Europe. About two months ago, Jason broke the news that he had to bail from the trip, due to some legitimate personal reasons. I went through a three day shock period, trying to figure out what this meant and what to do with the months of planning I had already spent. I had originally decided I would not travel three months alone, but that decision quickly changed when I was faced with the reality of no one else to go with.

And so began the cycle of mixed emotions, most dominated by excitement and nervousness. I've questioned the idea multiple times, and each time deciding to continue planning and preparing for a solo adventure. If not now, when? I'll never be guaranteed a travel partner in the future, so the risk of waiting another year to do this is too great. All this has led me to look back on the "what ifs" and wonder if this upcoming journey is part of a divine plan

*What if I had been accepted and enrolled in George Fox's MBA program? If I hadn't botched my telephone interview, I would be owned by my last year of grad school with a student debt nearly double what I have now.

*What if I had decided not to buy the house I currently own? I remember going back and fourth, knowing in my head it was a great investment but fearing the risk of making the biggest financial decision of my life.

Had either of those situations been reversed, I would be in the same position as the people Don Miller refers to in the above quote. If I was at George Fox I would be owned by school (and afterwards debt). Without my house, my financial situation would be owned by my job. But instead, I still own the freedom of my youth. And this is why I feel I must go now.

I've decided to pursue this adventure through the "green light" philosophy: I am continuing to plan and pursue this trip because it is something I really want to do. If God has another thing planned, I have faith he will provide the "red light." Otherwise, I am going alone, knowing God to be faithful and concerned for my overall well-being. If it is not good for me to go solo, He will provide a traveling partner. Either way, I expect something amazing to result from this journey...

Slideshow

I created a slideshow of some of my favorite memories. I figured this was a good way for you all to get to know me a little better. I hope you enjoy these tidbits of my life!

SLIDESHOW!!!

I'm a Happily Unmarried Christian

I made it through a Christian college with a 70% female student body without getting married. Whether that was an accomplishment or the biggest mistake of my life has yet to be determined, but at this point I am very happily unmarried.

Since graduating from Westmont, I have been invited to over a dozen weddings for people around my age. Last week I went to a Corban College basketball game and was amazed at how many girls, younger than me, had engagement rings! I bet most of those girls are still students. I've had numerous conversations with Christian friends who feel lonely, longing for that "significant" other and feeling as if they're getting old (23, 24, 25 years old). In the words of Gob from Arrested Development: COME ON!!!

To my knowledge, my married friends (and sister) are very happy, which is great. But for those single Christians around my age (23) who are not so happy - get over it. Here are a few benefits to being single:

1) The ability to get up and leave - I have absolutely no commitments. I can quit my job, sell my belongings and do whatever I want and no one can stop me.

2) I get my own room - I spent 3 1/2 years in dorms. Why would I want to graduate and share a room with some chick? It's ridiculous! I finally get to have my own room (and bathroom).

3) "Stomach" issues - the other day I ate something that my stomach didn't agree with. Without a wife, I have complete freedom to stink up the house and bedroom when I'm trying to go to sleep. No one is there to complain about it.

4) I can hang out at a house with four girls - and it's NOT weird (that's for you, Brittney).

5) Dinner - canned food (i.e. soup) is an acceptable meal for a bachelor.

6) Reading material - I don't have to hide dirty magazines; I don't own any, and never will... but if I did I wouldn't have to hide them.

7) I can still ask girls if they want to go steady - inside joke... I like to ask girls to "go steady" for fun, to get a reaction.

Those are just 7 benefits off the top of my head. I welcome you, the reader, to add to this list by commenting on the blog. I'm sure there are hundreds of benefits that I can't even think of.

He Said Yes!

I had three months worth of persuasion ammunition to unleash, but I didn’t need it. In fact, I first mentioned the proposal right after Thanksgiving, in hopes of having a definite response by the end of February. On December 23, Jason called me while I was on the road to Seattle and told me he’s in. We’re heading out to Europe this summer for a three month backpacking excursion. Our departure and return dates are not yet set, but will be around July 1 and October 1, respectively. We’ve tentatively picked out 17 countries we would like to visit.

I am interested in hearing from people that have traveled Europe, whether for a short or long trip. I’m open to any and all advice, stories, experiences, contacts etc. Jason and I also need money, so we’re open to that, too.

I’ll be posting more details as they come about. Our goal is to have our flights booked by the first of March. In the meantime, we’ll be brainstorming the purpose of the trip, what we want to accomplish – you know, all that spiritual stuff.

We are still considering and looking into going to South America, but will probably delay that trip until January.

Getting the Clue

The following is an excerpt from a phone conversation I had three days ago. The conversation didn’t consist of much more than this:

Me: I had a good time hanging out with you.
Her: I did too.
Me: I want to hang out with you again.
Her: Yea, that would be great.
Me: When are you available next?
Her: I’m pretty busy. Maybe this weekend… but I’m not really sure.
Me: Ok.
Her: I’ll call you when I find out.

The “Her” is a girl I went on a date with. We had a good time, and I was a little shocked by the brevity of the day-after phone conversation and her avoidance to commit to hanging out again. It doesn’t really bother me. It is very possible that she had a good time hanging out, but felt it was best to leave it at a one time thing. Maybe we just didn’t click, or she noticed that I have a few grey hairs. Whatever the reason it’s ok; I don’t take things like that personally and I don’t get upset.

But, it got me thinking… what is the best way, after a first date, to tell the person you are not interested in a second? I have used the approach in the above example a number of times – keep the conversation short, don’t commit to anything, and eventually the other person will get the hint. It’s the passive approach.

The downside to the passive approach is some people don’t get the subtle clues. I like to think I read the clues fairly clearly. However, sometimes you get a person that doesn’t catch what you’re throwing out there. What do you do then? My problem is I tend to be too nice and want to befriend everyone, even the girls that I’m not interested in going on a second date with.

So, I pose this question to readers nationwide: What do you do? What is your approach? Are you blunt or subtle? Any insightful stories worth telling?

Post your responses here, or email them to me and I will post them for you (with permission, of course).

Me in 5th Grade

I'm on the far right. I was really small back then.

Quoting a Friend

"I'm always afraid that someone's going to arrest me for something stupid like murder."
-Cookie

Time for Change

This blog was inspired by Don Miller's "Through Painted Deserts" (Nelson Books Publishing, 2005). If you are not familiar with Miller's writing, I recommend starting with this book or "Blue Like Jazz"

I’m taking a blog break from humor. Don’t worry; the break is only temporary, maybe just one entry, and is inspired by my friend Kristin Flores.

Kristin did something recently I have come to believe everyone must do: leave. A little background: Kristin was born and raised in Salem. She graduated from Oregon State, but spent many college weekends in Salem. She is well connected with her church in Salem, in which her father and mother pastor. She has wonderful friends here (myself included), and her social and familial life are worthy to be envied. She still left, moved to Pasadena and is attending Fuller Seminary. Before leaving she struggled a bit with the “why” questions, but she knew she had to go.

“…I must keep changing, and I want to change because it is God’s way… Everybody has to change, or they expire. Everybody has to leave, everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons… Only the good stories have the characters different at the end than they were at the beginning. And the closest thing I can liken life to is a book, the way it stretches out on paper, page after page, as if to trick the mind into thinking it isn’t all happening at once.” (Don Miller, Through Painted Deserts, pg. x-xi)

I have a comfortable life here in Salem. I have a job I enjoy with a decent salary. I’ve been attending the same church since high school, and I have enough friends to keep entertained with my free time. I appreciate all this more than I did before I left. I went to college out of state, spent 3 years in Santa Barbara, CA and one semester in San Francisco. Then I came back (not necessarily according to plan).

Lately, I’ve been feeling the need to leave again, to find change. Those of you who know me (nearly all the people that read this) have heard me talking about moving to Portland. That is still the tentative plan – to move next year with a couple of friends, find a new job and start graduate school. Other options include Denver, Colorado and somewhere in South America. The purpose is to get somewhere less comfortable, a place that will require me to change. My experience living in San Francisco was my biggest for change. It helped me understand the common Christian paradoxes – I need to die to live; in my weakness is strength; be broken to be whole. And so I must find the uncomfortable to learn to appreciate the comfortable. Odd? Maybe. But it’s never made more sense to me than now.